Hold Me Jesus

Hold Me Jesus- Rich Mullens
Well, sometimes my life Just don't make sense at all When the mountains look so big And my faith just seems so small
CHORUS: So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf You have been King of my glory Won't You be my Prince of Peace
And I wake up in the night and feel the dark It's so hot inside my soul I swear there must be blisters on my heart
Surrender don't come natural to me I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want Than to take what You give that I need And I've beat my head against so many walls Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees
And this Salvation Army band Is playing this hymn And Your grace rings out so deep It makes my resistance seem so thi
You have been King of my glory Won't You be my Prince of Peace

When I first heard this song I was in a pretty dark place. It was right when I was deciding what I wanted to do about school, where I thought God wanted me, where I was going to live. It was a scary, scary time. I remember listening to this song, in a dark kitchen and crying out to Jesus. And He seemed to real. So ready to take care of everything for me. In reality things were bad. I was lost and scared and alone. But I had Jesus so I had everything I needed.
Now, I face again another dark time. A time I thought was behind me. It hit me without warning (again), left me feeling empty (again), broken (again). I came across this song again. I want to be strong. To be the one who says I know it is going to be ok. But I said that once. And everything fell apart. I made a list of all the things I know God has done for me. I have listen to praise songs. Read scripture. But pray for me. I would greatly appreciate it.